


You love them.

by artistsfuneral



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Before: Lying can be comforting, Deceit is a Mom, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Protective Deceit, Rewrote This and gave it a new Title bacause it sucked, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, We Die Like Men, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2020-05-31 05:13:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19419184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artistsfuneral/pseuds/artistsfuneral
Summary: Virgil is trapped in a panic attack and none of the Sides is able to help him out of it. Then Virgil starts calling for his Mom.





	1. You love them.

**Author's Note:**

> Okk so apparently people liked this one.  
> I didn't. So I rewrote it. 
> 
> Have fun.

* * *

* * *

It happened after a really rough day for Thomas. He had overworked himself and gotten sick because of it, but still didn't take a break. Logan constantly pressured him with the deadlines. His friends had started to worry and tried to talk him out of it and in response Thomas had snapped – actually angrily snapped – at them. In the end they all got so riled up that they were shouting at each other. Of course they got mad at him, but Thomas was too exhausted to reason and things had gotten out of hand.

And that was the second Virgil lost control.

Within a minute Thomas was having a full blown anxiety attack. Time went by and none of the usual tactics seemed to help Virgil (and Thomas) to calm down. Virgil's breath was constantly stopping, interrupted by his ongoing sobs and whimpers that escaped his mouth every now and then. By now he was trapped in his panicked state for nearly an hour and a half by now and things were getting dangerous for both Thomas and the other sides. His voice hadn't lost its echo and Virgil had spiraled enough to even let his second pair of eyes emerge.

Roman had long given up trying to help and was simply sitting in a corner of the shared living room, quietly starring at the other sides.

Usually Virgil would have calmed down by now.

Usually Virgil would now be sitting on the couch with a cup of his favorite tea and watching Roman acting out the scenes of the Disney movie he had chosen. Roman didn't know how to help and Virgil's panic started to affect him.

  
Usually Virgil would be able to explain Logan what was bothering him. Usually Logan would offer some logically advice and everything would made sense. But it was part of the logical Side's fault that they were in this mess and Logan was exhausted. He didn't know how to deal with the feelings, with the lack of sleep, with the dread in his guts that appeared whenever Thomas was angry with his friends.

And usually Patton's touch would feel comforting to him. Usually Virgil would throw himself in Patton's arms, trying to hide away from the world, but right now everything was different. The hand on is shoulder, that should have felt comforting and reassuring, burnt painfully.

But he couldn't tell Patton to go away, to leave him some space, because he just couldn't seem to move his mouth. His throat was burning and aching and he had not enough air inside his lungs to speak a complete sentence.

Oh, but how his own thoughts betrayed him and how his mind was screaming for the one and only person that could help him now. The only person that he could bear to see now and the only person who's touch would be cool and comforting and controlling, not giving him the option to keep on with the hitching breaths and to loud sobs.

The only person who actually knew what to do when things escalated like this, because they had comforted him and help him cope so many times before. When he was still Fear, when he was still that raw piece of unshaped metal, when he had started to form into Pa-

And Virgil's echoed voice cracked as he began to scream. Using his last bit of energy, terrifying the three Sides in the same room as him, as he kept on desperately screaming for his Mother.

“Virgil? Kiddo, who do you mean-”  
“Virgil, there is now logical explanation for-”  
“GO AWAY! GO AWAY! I WANT MOM! I WANT MY MOM! WHERE IS MOM? MOM! MOM-”

He screamed his throat raw and broke out sobbing again, hot tears all over his face, dark spots in his eyes and the heavy feeling of something around his neck... that kept him from inhaling any air.

The feeling stopped seconds later and he was able to take a desperate, shaking breath before the cold pressure around his neck took his control again and kept him from breathing in. Forced to savior the air in his lungs he opened his eyes and focused on staring in the piercing yellow eye of his mother.

He focused on the piercing color of the other side and the snake around his neck that choked him to regulate his breath forcefully. His uncontrolled sobbing stopped and his head nodded forward, heavy, exhausted.

With tears running down his cheek and soft whimpers escaping him, he crawled inside the outreaching arms of Deceit and made himself as small as possible.

Only then Deceit snapped his fingers and the other Sides could remove their hands from their mouths. But the sharp look in his eyes still kept Roman, Logan and Patton from speaking. Remus crept towards the two and wrapped himself around Virgil, knowing all to well that his weight would help to calm the smaller one down.

After making sure that none of the “light Sides” would interrupt him, Deceit fully concentrated on Virgil and did what he could do best. He started lying.

Talking sweet nothings from a honey dripping tongue, whispering rows and rows of “It's okay.” and “No one got hurt.”, that calmed Virgil slowly until his second pair of eyes vanished and the shadows under his eyes lightened up, until exhaustion took over and he finally fell asleep after nearly two hours of pure terror.

“So... you're his Mom?”, Patton carefully asked, not wanting to either wake Virgil or Remus (who fell asleep on top of the other one).

The snake-like huffed out an insulted breath.

"I'm the mother of all of them. They become my children the day they start to exist. I take them in, I take care of them, help them to get better”, he made a face while remembering some of Virgil's worst days, “and I watch them go, when they start to change.”

His eyes hovered a bit too long on Roman's face, before he resumed to watch over Virgil and Remus, softly petting their hair.

“He was doing great with you guys. I hoped he would have forgotten about me by now, but well... Thomas clearly is starting to change. I didn't think it would happen so soon though. It takes some time until they forget... I hoped it was enough.”

“You're lying”, whispered Patton, “because you love him. You don't want him to forget because you love him, like we all do.”

Deceit's mouth formed into a pained smile. “Of course I love them. They are my children.”

“Then why not stay with them?”

“I can't. The “light” and “dark” Sides don't do well together, believe me, I tried. I have to wait until Thomas is ready,” he looked up, “until you are ready.”

Logan chimed in: “But we already know about Virgil and Remus and you. And Thomas knows about you, so it should be possible that-”

Deceit stopped him with a smile so sad it made Patton choke.

“He doesn't know about Orange yet.”

* * *

* * *


	2. Lying can be comforting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the old story...  
> I don't know why you would want to read it, but I didn't want to delete it.

Virgil's breath was constantly stopping, interrupted by his ongoing, never ending sobs that escaped his mouth for nearly an hour by now. His panic attack just wasn't going away and whenever it seemed like he could be able to calm down enough to explain what was going on, all his fears came crushing down again. Roman had long given up trying to help and was simply sitting in a corner of the shared living room, quietly starring at the other sides. He was way to quiet. Logan had tried reasoning with Virgil over and over again but not even admitting that Thomas himself was in no good place, because of Virgil's ongoing state of panic had changed anything. It usually did.

Usually Virgil would have calmed down by now. Usually Virgil would now be sitting on the couch with a cup of his favorite tea and watching Roman acting out the scenes of the Disney movie he had choosen.

Usually he would be able to explain to Logan what was bothering him. Usually Logan would offer some logically advice and everything would made sense.

And usually Patton's touch would feel comforting to him. Usually Virgil would throw himself in Patton's arms, but right now everything was diffrent and the hand on is shoulder, that should have felt comforting and reasurring, burnt painful. But he couldn't tell Patton to go away, to leave him some space, because he just couldn't seem to move his mouth. His throat was burning and aching and he had not enough air inside his loungs to speak a complete sentence.

Oh, but how his own thoughts betrayed him and how his mind was screaming for the one and only person that could help him now. The only person that he could bear to see and the only person who's touch would be cool and comforting and controlling, not giving him the option to keep on with the hitching breaths and to loud sobs.

And Virgils voice cracked as he began to sream. Using his last bit of energy, terrifying the three sides in the same room as him as he kept on desperately screaming for his Mother.

"Virgil? Kiddo, who do you mean-"

"Virgil, there is now logical explenation for-"

"GO AWAY! GO AWAY I WANT MOM! I WANT MY MOM! WHERE IS MOM? MOM, MOM-"

His throat screamed raw he broke out sobbing again, hot tears all over his face, dark spots in his eyes and the heathy feeling of something around his neck, that kept him from inhaling.

The feeling stopped seconds later and he was able to take a desperate, shaking breath before again the cold pressure around his neck took his control and kept him from breathing in. Forced to saviour the air in his lungs he opened his eyes and focused on starring in the piercing yellow eye of his mother. Fully concentrating on the comforting colour and the snake around his neck that regulated his breath forcefully, his worry washed away and his uncontrolled sobbing stopped. Still with tears running down his cheek he crawled inside the outreaching arms of Deceit and made himself as small as possible.

Only then Deceit snapped his fingers and the sides could remove their hands from their mouths. But the sharp look in his eyes still kept Roman, Logan and Patton from speaking. After making sure that none of them would interrupt him, Deceit fully concentrated on Virgil and did what he could do best. He started lying. Talking sweet nothings from a honey dripping tongue, that calmed Virgil down more and more until exhaustion took over and he finally fell asleep after an hour of pure terror.

"So... you're his Mom?", Patton carefully asked, not wanting to wake Virgil or anger Deceit. The snake huffed out an insulted breath. "Im the mother of all of them. They're my children since the day they started to exist. I took them in, I took care of them and I watched them go, when they started to change." His eyes hovered a bit to long on Romans side before he resumed to watch over Virgil.

"He was doing great with you, I hoped he would have forgotten about me by now." Deceits eyes narrowed and a shadow appeared on his face. "You're lying", whispered Patton, "because you love him. You love him like we all do."

"Im his Mom, of course I love him. That's why I send him away to you guys."


End file.
